Learning Lessons

I feel like this has been the year of learning lessons. I find my biggest flaws have been exposed recently.
As I reach the end of my first year homeschooling my ‘special needs’ kid, I realized how much I lacked patience and how much I really had to reach to muster some up. I’ve had to take many mommy times outs. Though I have a long way to go, I feel like Improving. Im trying to do better. I have to do better.
Its very hard for me to admit when I am wrong. My defense mechanism kicks in. I hate being vulnerable. I don’t like even talking about it. I started this blog to take a look at my life and to see how far I’ve come. You can’t grow unless you learn for your mistakes and you can learn from them unless you admit them. This is my growing process.
My huband was trying to teach me how to drive a car a few weeks ago.( Hard for me to admit that. Yes, Im 28 and Im just learning to drive. Kind of embarassing) He corrected me when I made a mistake and I found myself making excuses as to while it wasn’t that wrong. I got defensive and called him a professor tight wad. It was funny we both laughed but I realized I kept making the same mistake. I blew it off instead of taking note. I wanted to learn how to do this but I wasn’t gonna learn until I let my guard down and tried.
Im still learning and I still make mistakes but I’m trying very hard and I do appreciate that my hubby’s help. I hope to pass my test soon.* Fingers crossed.*
I really want to be a better person. My nature wants to be brave and put on a strong front and never show weakness but thats not reality. My nature never wants to be hurt again. I dont want to be broken. No body can be a brick wall all the time. A brick wall eventually crumbles.
So I be a strong woman but I will work learning to accept when I am wrong. I will work on being a better person.
I will fail but I will get back up for my husband and my kids.